I have yet to make this stable, I’ve gotten it to boot but get random file corruption errors so I format the card and installed it again from scratch I read that with the s905x3 I should only install ver 3.9 and lower so I grabbed that one instead of ver 4.3
So once I get the 3.9 flashed and started the install how long should it take? atm, I am at 15 mins and see a black screen after the 1st Emuelec screen. My device has 4 GB ram
Read it again. You must be mistaken.
Top of the install section Guide
First, make sure you read the Supported Devices page. For the moment EmuELEC only works on Amlogic devices, S905, S912 (only on V3.9 and lower), S905x2, S905x3, S922x, A311D, Odroid-GO Advance, Odroid-GO Super
This is a very quick and rough guide to get you started.
Thoughts is it possible to use ver 4.3?
would it be possible to know where you read that 3.9 and below are the best option for Amlogic S905x3? just curious.
Normally you can install the latest generic stable version 4.3 NG on your S905x3 device (read cheap device warnings), for this you must use the dtb that corresponds to the specifications of your box.
I used the same box that is used in the install video from Emulec main page and that guide for the install is listed above its linked 
This is how I chose the DTB * Amlogic S905X3 = sm1_s905x3
I am attempting to reflash and install 4.3 so question how long should I let it sit on the Emulelc Loading page before giving up as a lock up?
Ok, back up to what I consider unstable it booted to ready however every time I tried to make any changes the system just lags for about 30 seconds and allows control once again. Thoughts?
Please read it again, take in consideration the commas as they are there for a reason. The only device recommended for 3.9 and below is the S912.
You can and should install the newest version available, support for older versions is no longer considered.
This sounds to me like a bad (or failing) SD card.